April was a roller coaster. Cliche, I know. But last month took me up and down again and again. I’ve been really happy, then deeply sad. I’ve said good-bye, worked my hardest and laughed a lot.
It’s left me with a couple of thoughts, and I know this falls outside of what I usually post, but I made this blog for myself, not to be popular, so you’re just going to have to deal with it.
Most people have no problem being around you when you’re happy, but it’s the people who choose to be around you in darker times that you should keep around. My dog that I grew up with died really recently, and it was really hard not to be home and see her one last time. Many avoided the subject with me. I appreciated the people who reached out to me personally about it, who helped me get through those first few days and let me talk about it for a little while. A lot of people don’t know how to deal with sadness, and I understand that. But the people who try are the people you should stick with.
People will do almost anything to keep their reputation the way it is. I don’t want to get into specifics, but I’ve found that most people who are higher up on the social ladder will do anything to save face, even if it means hurting people and lying. Especially if it’s the reputation of an institution.
Choose to be happy, even about the smallest things. I get caught up in my head a lot, and sometimes it’s hard to dig myself back out and rejoin the rest of the world. Choosing to express joy over even really little things can help change your mood. Let yourself get excited about things, even if it means risking disappointment.
Be kinder. You really never know what other people are going through, and people can be very good at hiding what they’re actually feeling. Be forgiving and gracious. We are all too hard on each other already.
Lose yourself. Whether it’s in your work, music, art, whatever. I spent many late nights working on my campus newspaper, especially our 40-page Relays issue that came out last week, and I love who I become when I work on it. I love to zone out while listening to music because it helps me work through things going on in my life. Find something that will let you show off the best part of yourself, or something that will let you reflect.
You can’t mark a off a period in time as strictly good or bad, because there’s too many shades of gray in between. That’s how I feel about these past few weeks. It’s been marked by hardships, but also by a lot of actual happiness.